


Entirely by Accident

by Tonks914



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child Compliant, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-03-29
Packaged: 2019-03-18 12:20:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13681566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tonks914/pseuds/Tonks914
Summary: Teddy and James were best mates - maybe even a bit more...if the 'bit more' meant family, that is, because it couldn't possibly mean anything other than that.  THAT would be weird, right?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I have a terrible case of writer's block on my other projects. I'm hoping that this fun, little project will cure me. A warning that I will be posting first drafts so it will be rough. Without further ado...

It happened entirely by accident.  They’d gone out to celebrate James’s coming of age, just two mates pounding drinks and playing cards.  Teddy was over-the-moon about his partner-in-crime finally being able to join him legally at the pub.  In all honesty, it took years for him to even admit that James _was_ his closest friend.  The six year age gap had made it a quite embarrassing fact, so much so that he’d taken to launching into a pre-rehearsed tale about his Godfather making him hang out with the eldest Potter child any time he preferred James’s company over the blokes his own age.  In truth, James Potter had just always been his favourite person; he had this intensely sharp with that never failed to throw Teddy into hysterics and then could just as quickly switch to his quiet, genuine sensitivity that was, at the same time, both disarming and reassuring.  By age 15, James was a regular fixture with Teddy’s mates and Teddy was relieved to find that he wasn’t the only one who found James funny, engaging, and impressively mature for his age.   

All this being true, however, didn’t explain how he found himself in the most-unwelcome situation on the night of James’s 17th.  The duo had just stumbled in from the floo, Teddy secretly impressed that they’d landed in his flat successfully considering their level of inebriation and James, with his always present agility threw himself atop Teddy’s counter and shouted, “Teddy, be a dear and make the birthday boy a sandwich!”

“Make your own damn sandwich!” Teddy said dramatically, sweeping passed James to pour himself a glass of water.

James made his signature pout face and playfully nudged the blue-haired man with his foot.  “Please?  It’s my birthday.”

Finishing his glass of water, Teddy glanced at his watch.  “Not anymore, I’m afraid! 1:46 – you’re officially the ‘not-birthday man.” 

“See? That was a terrible joke but I don’t even have the energy to take the piss properly considering I’m absolutely famished!” 

Teddy snorted and moving in front of James, threw the refrigerator door open, and after a moment of rummaging placed the ketchup, cheese, and pickles on the counter.  “Aye!  There’s a good lad!”  James shouted with a triumphant smile.

Teddy moved directly in front of the brunette.  “Excuse me, birthday king, but you’re in the way of the bread.”  He said through a grin.

“Am I?”  James asked with a cheeky smile. 

“You, Mr. Potter, are absolutely impossible.”  Teddy said as he made to reach behind the young wizard and grab the bread.  At least, that was his intent.  Somehow, however, in his alcohol addled mind, he managed to find himself distracted by James’s lips.  Or, more specifically, by James’s lips crashing against his own.  To this day, he still cannot say how it happened.  Whether he or James made the first move, if there had been some sort of tactile sign that was instantly forgotten, it was all a complete mystery.  What suddenly was not a mystery, however, was the taste of James’s tongue, dulled firewhisky, as he licked his way into Teddy’s mouth, the feel of James’s hands leaving trails of sparks, as he slid off the counter and skirted them down Teddy’s back, the growl-like sound that tore from the 17 year old, as he shoved Teddy hard against the refrigerator.  If Teddy were a stronger man, he would’ve pushed the teenager off right then but the intensity of his best mate’s reactions spurred him on and after placing a few nips to James’s collar bone, he boldly dropped his hands to his friend’s belt. 

After a moment of struggling, Teddy groaned in frustration, feeling James smirk against his lips as he broke their kiss to devote his full attention to the offending garment.  His speed was clearly lacking as James batted his hands out of the way and took over the task.

“This bloody belt!”  He grouched in frustration, trying to wrench the buckle free. 

That’s all it took, that achingly familiar voice, the frustrated voice of little Jamie Potter, Harry’s bloody son trying to get naked as fast as possible, and Teddy came crashing back down to reality.  “WAIT!”  Teddy shouted almost manically. “Stop, stop, stop.”

James sighed, releasing his belt.  “Bloody belt.”  He mumbled before moving away from Teddy and perching on the back of the couch. 

“Just, just stay there, okay?”  Teddy yelled, backing towards the hallway, as if warding off an evil beast.

James’s eyebrows knitted together in a very unimpressed expression.  “Staying.” He replied matter-of- factly.

“Good.”  Teddy said, reaching into his pocket and throwing up as many wards as he could think of, before making a very brave and manly escape to his room. 

 

 

The next morning Teddy laid nauseous and staring at his ceiling, delaying the inevitable doom that awaited him in the living room.  Doom may have been a bit dramatic but he was convinced that, at the very least, the most awkward morning-after in history was to come.  The thought of having a “morning-after” – did it actually count as a morning-after? – with _Jamie Potter_ made his stomach turn over again, and he groaned, pulling the blankets over his head.  His first instinct was to fane sleep until James had left.  Unfortunately, however, Teddy and James had a much practiced routine for mornings spent together.  Since the younger man could sleep half the day away, especially after a late-night, Teddy always woke first and made them both a full English breakfast.  The smell alone was usually enough to wake his friend and the two would eat together in comfortable silence. 

Teddy imagined James waking up alone in the living room.  Would he feel sad, angry, abandoned?  Or worse, was he already gone, feeling uncomfortable or taken advantage of by Teddy?  That thought, the thought that his Jamie, someone he’d loved for seventeen years, would feel anything but warmly towards him made a lump form in his throat.  There was only one way to find out and to set things right.  So with a dejected sigh, Teddy threw off his covers and made his way to the door. 

Walking down the short hallway to the living room felt remarkably like a death march.  When Teddy reached the end of the hallway, the air felt close, alerting him to the presence of the previous night’s wards.  He lifted his wand and cast a lazy ‘finite incantatem’ before crossing the threshold.  At the sound of his arrival James’s head poked up from the couch, looking heavy-eyed and disheveled. 

Teddy paused briefly before speaking.  “Good morning.  Eh.  How’d you sleep?”

To Teddy’s surprise, James scoffed at him and rolled his eyes. “Oh, you know…on a transfigured pull-out with a terrible case of blue balls – everyone’s dream sleeping situation.”  Teddy couldn’t help himself, he actually snorted which made James instantly soften and smile.  “Oh and not to mention that I had to piss so badly that I thought I’d explode.”  Teddy looked sheepishly at the hallway only just realizing the effect that his casting had had the previous night.  “That’s right!” James continued. “You warded the bloody _hallway_ instead of your room!  Couldn’t even get to my wand, let alone the bathroom now, could I?”

“I’m sorry!”   Teddy said sincerely although his snickering slightly ruined the effect.

James chuckled and shook his head.  “Well, jokes on you.  I pissed on your plant.” 

Teddy let out a relieved breath that he hadn’t realized he’d been holding.  “I never liked that plant anyway.  Come on; let me make you some breakfast to make up for it.”

 

The awkwardness that had been avoided in their first interaction had returned slightly while Teddy readied breakfast.  He tried to ignore the tension and instead devoted all of his attention to making a spectacular meal.  He hoped that a perfectly poached egg could say ‘I’m sorry I almost fucked you last night, let’s not be weird.’  When he placed the plates and sat next to the brunette at the breakfast bar, he could feel the younger man’s eyes on him.  As much as he would have preferred coming across a wild hippogriff in heat at that moment, he knew that he had to address the late night incident.  So, after taking a deep cleansing breath, he brought his eyes up to meet James’s.  The two stared at each other for a few beats before James’s face broke into a wide grin and before Teddy knew what was happening, the duo dissolved into hysterical laughter.

Teddy roughly scrubbed his hands over his face to compose himself.  “Bloody hell…So I take it you’re gay then?”

James nodded as he swallowed, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand before he spoke. “ Yeah, I’ve actually got a bit of a boyfriend so if we can keep that little slip-up between us, it’d be appreciated.”

Teddy did his best to school his features but by the look on James’s face, he wasn’t sure he was succeeding.  “A boyfriend?” He replied, neutrally. 

James hesitated briefly, focusing his attention on playing with his glass rather than looking at Teddy.  “Yeah, um, Noah?”

“Noah?”  Teddy shouted, not giving a damn what his face was saying this time.  If ‘Noah’ was who he thought he was, then James was currently dating his quidditch rival at school.  “Noah Kettletoff?”

James nodded sheepishly as Teddy sat back, shaking his head in disbelief.  “Jamie, why didn’t you tell me?”

The 17 year old sat down his fork with a sigh.  “I don’t know.  It’s not that I’m ashamed or anything.  It’s just annoying that it’s even a conversation that I have to have.  It just seems so stupid and self-important, like, who gives a shit?  I know the family won’t, I know my friends wont.  I just always thought I’d eventually bring home a boyfriend and everyone would figure it out.”

Teddy nodded, “Well then, why don’t you bring Noah around then?

“Noah feels a little less warmly towards everyone knowing.”  James said quickly, shoving a bite of eggs into his mouth before glancing at the irritated look on Teddy’s face.  “Don’t look at me like that, it’s not like I’m his dirty, little secret or anything.  He’s just not sure when he wants to tell his family yet.”

“Right.”  Teddy said, in a disbelieving tone.  “Is it serious then?”

James gave a full body shrug before answering.  “I don’t know, I thought it might be but then I kissed this other bloke without a second thought so…”

Teddy chuckled uncomfortably, rubbing the back of his neck.  James followed his movement, smirking at the obvious, nervous gesture.

“Anyway, how about you?” He asked.

“What about me?”  Teddy replied.

James flashed him an annoyed looks before asking, “Are you gay?”

Teddy shook his head.  “I’ve never really had a preference, if you know what I mean.  It’s just that birds worked for me so I just kept on with them to avoid that dreaded conversation.”

“Yeah, I get it.”  James  said, returning to his attention to his plate.  After a moment, James got an pensive and then excited look on his face. “Wait a minute!  Does that mean I was your first official kiss with a bloke?”

Teddy squeezed his eyes shut in embarrassment.  He had been hoping that the obnoxious shit wouldn’t put together those pieces of information.  He was never going to live this down now. 

“D’awww, ickle Teddy!”  James shouted, reaching over and fluffing the older man’s hair.

“SHUT. IT.”  Teddy spat in a tone that, he hoped, warned against further teasing.

James simply returned to his food with a look that said he’d won the world and the two finished their meal in comfortable silence.

“All right.”  James said, as he pushed out from the table and stretched his arms above his head. “I better get home.”

Teddy had missed the second part of the Potter’s statement because, to his horror, James’s movement had brought his attention to a cluster of love bites at the base of his friend’s neck.  Before he had time to fully process, James had stood and was making his way to the floo.  Teddy was torn between the embarrassment of pointing out their problem and the complete dismay at the idea of sending the teen to see his parents in his current state.  The fear of the latter won over and he found himself tripping over his own feet to stop James from leaving.  “Jamie!  Jamie!  Wait.”

James turned with a confused look on his face which quickly turned into a cheeky smile when Teddy placed his wand and began healing the marks.    “Done.”  He said, avoiding James’s eyes.

“Thanks,” James replied easily, making his way over to the fireplace and stepping inside with a handful of floo powder.  “Oh and Teddy?”  Teddy glanced over to his friend who wore a smirk that he’d never quite seen before.  “I always knew you’d be a biter.”  James said with a wink as Teddy’s mouth dropped open.  He barely had time to register the words ‘Potter residence’ being shouted before his mate vanished in a cloud of smoke.

A while after, as he stood, still staring at the empty fireplace where James had disappeared, Teddy realized, without a doubt, that he was completely fucked.

 


	2. Chapter 2

Sunday brunch at the Potter’s was a tradition that went back further than Teddy’s earliest memories.  The beautiful chaos of playing with Victoire and Freddy, and later the Potter kids, while the adults laughed and half-heartedly reprimanded them, always filled him with a sense of belonging.  Despite the youngest of them being thirteen now, there was always this never-changing, exuberant buzz around the home which, without fail, took Teddy right back to childhood.  Today, in spite of all the strangeness of the last forty-eight hours, he was relieved to see was no different.  He walked in briskly and before being officially greeted, quickly wrapped his arms around the back of his grandmother who was animatedly talking with Ginny.

“Edward Lupin,” she chastised, “You’re going to give me a heart-attack one of these days!  Now come around here and give me a proper hug.”

“You love me.”  He said as he slid around and allowed himself to be engulfed in a tight embrace.  “Hey, Gin.” He said once he’d been released enough to lean across the table and place a quick kiss on her cheek. 

“Hey, love.  Jamie was just asking…” Ginny started but was abruptly interrupted by the arrival of her eldest child.

“What was I doing?”  James asked as he strolled into the kitchen looking unreasonably good in a blue button down shirt and perfectly fitting khakis. 

Teddy felt his mouth go dry as he stood, stupidly staring for what felt like an unreasonable amount of time.  He started to panic that everyone was noticing and willed his mouth to make words immediately.  “You look…I mean…you’re dressed up.”

James smiled knowingly and Teddy could feel his neck heat up under the younger man’s gaze.  “Yeah, dad is insisting that I meet with his friend Oliver Wood today.  You know, with the arrows?”

Teddy nodded as Ginny snorted to his right.  “Yes, never mind that _I_ actually played professional quidditch, he had to take advantage of the _one_ quidditch contact he has to attempt to win the parent game.”

Teddy’s gran clicked her tongue at the younger woman.  “Just let him play the hero, love.  The dads always love to swoop in and be the hero; my Ted was the same way.”

As with every time that his gran mentioned her late husband – or her daughter, for that matter, Teddy felt this intense heaviness settle over his heart.  His grandmother had suffered through challenges and losses that no one should ever have to endure.   He only hoped that his loving her could bring her some joy amidst all the pain. 

Ginny and James, on the other hand, appeared to have no such emotional reaction to the old woman’s words.  “HA, what was his childhood not enough heroing?”  James asked playfully and Gran swatted him, before pulling him down for a kiss.  Teddy smiled fondly and felt warmth spread through his chest as he watched them interact; there was no denying that his and James’s families were one, Teddy had to get this new, strange infatuation under control. 

“And anyway,” Ginny interjected, “it’s not being a hero; it’s being a meddlesome father.”

“No argument here!”  James threw out as he effortlessly slid onto the counter and grabbed a peach.  Unwanted memories from the last time he’d seen the brunette perched in that position flooded into his mind.

Luckily, his Gran came to the rescue.  “So Teddy, how’s work going?  Harry was telling me that you had a pretty big hand in breaking up and illegal potions ring.”

Teddy sighed and pulled a chair up next to his grandmother.   “That’s not exactly how I’d tell the story…”

 

Two hours later and the blue haired man stood in his usual spot, cleaning the dishes from another delicious brunch.  He was just letting his mind wander to his case load for the week when James appeared at his side, brandishing his wand.  “Need a hand?”

“That’s right!  I’m not alone in my clean-up duties anymore, Mr. of-age wizard.”

James rolled his eyes but smiled proudly all the same.  “I actually have something to show you too.”  He said as he pulled a letter from his pocket and handed it over.

Teddy instantly recognized the insignia from Hogwarts and ripped the letter out of his mate’s hand and pulled the envelope open.  Inside sat, not one, but two badges – the Gryffindor quidditch captain symbol and a large H, representing this year’s head boy.  “Merlin’s tits, Jamie…”  Teddy shouted, pulling his friend into a hug, “I am so bloody proud of you.” 

Teddy could feel James smile against his shoulder as the younger man brought his arms to wrap around Teddy’s waist.  Feeling suddenly uneasy about the intimate position, Teddy pulled back to look at his friend.  “Why do you not seem more excited about this?  This is huge.”

He sighed and released Teddy, leaning back against the sink.  “Because…I can’t do both with NEWTS coming up.  And by picking between them, I’m pretty much making the Quidditch/healing career decision a year earlier than I thought I would.  I’m just really stressed out because I don’t know what the right move is and I’m terrified to make the wrong one.” 

“Woah, Jamie, look at me.”  Teddy said, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder. “There are plenty of healers who weren’t head boy and not all professional Quidditch players were captain.  Quit putting so much pressure on yourself and just go with what feels right.”

James swiped angrily at his eyes.  “I know.  It’s just a lot.”  He said, looking up at the older man.  “I’m sorry, by the way, for the comment the other morning.  I just never thought you’d be easily flustered and nervous about sex so it was just…funny.”

Teddy couldn’t help but allow his annoyance to show.  “I’m not easily flustered and nervous about sex.  I’m actually pretty smooth.”  His god brother only raised his eyebrows which annoyed Teddy more.  “I have been having sex since before you had your first stiffy so don’t think you have any right to judge me.”

James smirked, “Not gay sex, though…I’m not judging you, I understand why you would be nervous.  It doesn’t mean it’s not hilarious though.”

“Sex is sex, Jamie.  There’s no reason to be nervous.”  Teddy said, as he returned to his washing. 

Briefly James looked as though he had a response but then he too returned to his stack of dishes. 

“James, it’s time to go!”  Harry yelled from the other room.

The brunette pocketed his wand before turning to face Teddy.   A look of indecision passed his face before he leaned in and whispered, each breath tickling the shell of Teddy’s ear.  “Sex is just sex, Teds.  It’s normal for a natural bottom to be nervous at first, though.”  He finished with a swift swat on the older man’s ass.  Teddy’s mouth dropped open at James’s boldness and the teen’s face split into a shit-eating grin.  “See?  Nervous and flustered,” he said victoriously as he meandered towards the door, shouting a, “sorry, again,” over his shoulder. 

 

 

Roughly 36 hours had passed since the Potter’s brunch and Teddy found himself desperately in need of a wank.  Unfortunately, every time he found a moment to ‘relieve himself,’ images of one particular best mate came flooding into his mind.  He could not, no; he WOULD not wank to thoughts of James Sirius Potter.  Especially not thoughts of him doing all those terrible, amazing, depraved, delicious things to Teddy.  Teddy let his head drop, hard onto his desk.  There was only one way to solve this so with a defeated sigh, he made his way over to the floo and tossed powder inside.

“Victoire!”  He yelled.  “Wake up, I have a problem.”

The blonde woman groggily stumbled over and kneeled in front of the fireplace.  “What’s wrong?”  She asked, fear apparent in her face. 

“I need to get laid.”  He said matter-of-factly.

“Merlin, Ted, I thought someone had died!”  She said, angrily.  “Don’t come yelling through my floo at 7 am unless it’s an emergency.”

Teddy flashed her a sheepish smile.  “It kind of is.  Can you set me up with that girl you were telling me about?”

“Why I put up with you, Lupin, is beyond me!”  Victoire ranted.  “Her name is Cecilia – everyone calls her Cici – I’ll see if she’s free tonight.  Sound good?”

“Have I told you that you’re my favourite person in the whole-wide world?” He asked, flashing her his most endearing smile.

“Goodbye, Ted,” Victoire dead-panned as she broke the floo connection. 

 

Cici proved to be an entertaining enough date with her humorous anecdotes, dirty blonde hair, and gorgeous figure.  She was at least charming enough that Teddy was looking forward to getting naked with her. Luckily, Victoire did not disappoint and the young woman proved to be equally as enthusiastic about the prospect.   After they landed through the floo, they started making quick work of their clothes and headed towards the bedroom. 

“So, these powers of yours, can you really make yourself look like anyone?”  She asked in between breathless kisses, falling back onto the bed.

Teddy’s body tensed, he’d been with people who were overly interested in his metamorphmagus abilities and he had an idea where this line of questioning was heading.  “Yes.”  He said as he started kissing down her collar bone. 

“Really?”  Cici asked excitedly, pulling away from Teddy.  “So if I gave you a picture, you could look like the person?”

Teddy sighed and sat back on his heels.  “I could, but I won’t.” 

“Why not?”  The girl asked, indignantly, “Sex is clearly all you were looking for too.  Why does it matter what you look like when we do it?”

“It matters.”  Teddy said, “Now are we doing this?”  He realized instantly that his annoyed tone and his bluntness were both very big mistakes as Cici immediately began buttoning up her top. 

“Nope.  I don’t think we are.”  She said, angrily as she started searching the floor for her trousers.  “I love how you look at me like I’m some sort of heartless bitch when you clearly never gave a damn about who I am…just a hole to distract you.  Don’t kid yourself, Teddy Lupin, you’re just as much of a piece of shit.”  She spat and with those parting words, she was gone. 

 

Through his drunken haze Teddy faintly recognized the sound of his floo but couldn’t be bothered to stand from his very comfortable, kitchen floor location.  “Teddy?”  The voice of James Potter drifted from the fireplace and Teddy raised his hand above the center island to alert him of his position.  “What the actual hell, Ted?”  James asked, alarmed at the poor sight that his friend made. 

“Sorry,”  Teddy said, not bothering to stand up.  “I had a date tonight.”

James chuckled darkly and sat next to his friend.  “And it went that well?”

Teddy sighed and lazily took another swig of his firewhisky.  “I really should be used to it by now.  I don’t know why I just can’t get used to it.”

“Used to what?”  James asked, swiping the bottle and taking a large gulp.  “Shitty dates?”

“No, I mean yes, I guess.  The date itself wasn’t bad…even brought her back to get to know her a little better.”   He said, suggestively waggling his eyebrows as he sat up straighter.

James snorted.  “Uh oh, so what happened?  Couldn’t get it up?”

“Eh…” Teddy started embarrassedly, “she just wanted me to look like some other guy.”  Teddy hadn’t noticed James’s mouth had dropped open at his revelation.  “And it’s not as if I’d mind that much, it’s not like I haven’t done things like that in the past.  It’s just that she’d never even been with ME yet, you know?  It was like she wasn’t willing to give me a go first.”  Teddy reached out for the bottle but James simply set it to the side.

“Wait a minute.”  He said in a dumbfounded tone.  “Are you telling me that she asked you to look like another bloke while you were fucking her?”

“Well, not during, just right before.”  Teddy answered.

“Who would do that?”  James asked in a disgusted tone. 

“Ha!”  Teddy started with a self-deprecating laugh.  “They all ask eventually, mate.  Which it would be one thing if we’re talking five years into the relationship but right out of the gate?  The realization that you must be a total troll is a major hit to the self-confidence.”

James’s shook his head as if to clear it but his astonished look remained in place.  “Teddy, look at me.”  He said and when the older man didn’t comply, he gently grabbed his chin and pulled his face to force eye contact.   Teddy lazily looked at him, resting his head against the cupboard.  “You, Teddy Lupin, are properly fucking sexy.”

Teddy let out a scoff and attempted to turn his head away but James held him firm.  “I mean it, Teddy.  You may or may not have been the reason I knew I was gay so young.”  Teddy’s eyes widened at the confession but James remained unfazed.  “BUT that is a fact that you’ll never bring up beyond this conversation. “

“You were very young.” Teddy reasoned.  “I’m pretty sure that I accidentally had my first stiffy over an old picture of my grandmother and THAT is a fact we will never discuss again.” 

James laughed fondly.  “It’s true though, Teddy.  I can’t fathom that those people don’t see how lucky they are to have you…YOU, Teddy.  And I don’t mean the “smoothed out” version either.  As much as I dig the blue, I mean your boring, brown hair,”  He said as he reached up and fluffed Teddy’s hair and the older man let it shift to its natural colour, “your mole that you hate and have been morphing away since you were 16” he continued, gently touching the spot on Teddy’s cheek until the mole reappeared,  and your slightly crooked nose from that time I hit you with a bludger and we were too worried to tell Mum so we let it heal incorrectly.”  The duo immediately broke down into laughter as Teddy allowed his nose to shift a solid centimeter to the right.

“It is so jacked up!”  Teddy said, laughing hysterically. 

When he glanced over, James looked suddenly serious.  “You really are fucking beautiful, Ted. “  Teddy swallowed hard against the lump in his throat as James dropped his hand and continued.  “I mean, your personality could use some work but looks wise, you’re golden.

Teddy let out a bark of laughter.  “Oh fuck off!”

James smiled warmly and stood up, offering a hand.  “Come on, let’s watch one of your awful muggle films and eat junk food.”

 

Teddy’s first thought upon waking was how sure he was that he’d never been as hung over, the pounding in his head making it nearly impossible to move.  His second was the awareness that there was a very comfortable weight wrapped around his back and a warm breath ghosting against the base of his neck.  That thought quickly led to the realization that he and James fell asleep together on the pull-out the previous night.  He allowed himself a moment to ponder how his plan to get James out of his head had backfired so remarkably to end with another awkward ‘morning-after’ with the teen.

Teddy flipped to his back with a sigh, allowing James’s hand to falls to his stomach.  The young brunette didn’t stir and Teddy’s eyes were immediately drawn his face.  Openly watching him, Teddy couldn’t help but smile at the way, even in sleep, the teen’s face looked like it was about to split into a mischievous grin. He reached out and lightly brushed hair off of James’s forehead and, to his horror, watched as his friend’s eyes blinked open.  “I, sorry, there was something on your forehead.”  Teddy would have literally avada kedavra’d himself if he were in reach of his wand.

James smiled tenderly, flipping to face the older man.  “It’s fine.  What time is it?”

“Don’t know,”  Teddy said, looking at the way the light shined in through the window. “Still pretty early I think.  I don’t work until 4:00, though, which is a blessing considering the state of my head right now.”

“That bad?”  James asked.  When Teddy nodded, James stood from the pull-out and stretched his arms into the air, revealing a strip of skin where his shirt rode up.  Teddy willed himself to look away and sat up cradling his head in his hands at the influx of pressure.  Without a word, James scurried from the room and returned within a minute, hangover potion and a glass of water in hand.  He wordlessly held out the vial and smiled as Teddy accepted it and downed the liquid, grimacing at the sickly sweet taste.  James chuckled and traded a full glass of water for the empty vial, moving to the kitchen to toss it into the sink. 

After taking a hefty gulp, Teddy yelled after him.  “Thank Dumbledore.  You know, healing really might the the way to go.”

“Anyone can hand out a hangover potion, Ted.”  He said with a smile, from the stove.  “There was actually a bit of decision made on that front.”

“Oh?”  Teddy asked, excitedly standing up. 

“Last night, that’s the whole reason I came over actually.”

Teddy clapped a hand over his forehead.  “I’m such a tosser.  I’m sorry!”

“No, no.”  James reassured.   “You were in a right state last night, I’m glad I was here.”

“Me too.”  Teddy answered honestly.  “So ANYWAY, the news!”

James smiled, “It was a bit of a mess actually.  I had a mental breakdown and – well, this is the retelling so let’s say that I maturely expressed my concerns to my parents - instead of saying that I sobbed all of my fears at them and THEN came out of the closet in a ridiculously dramatic fashion.”

Teddy’s mouth dropped open.  “James!  That’s huge.  I absolutely cannot believe that you allowed me to whine for hours last night when you had actual pressing matters. Are you okay?

“I feel,”  James started, moving closer to Teddy, “I feel amazing actually.  I’m going to try and do both.  Mum and Dad, who were expectedly brilliant about the gay thing, by the way.  Well, they think I could do it, especially since Quidditch will be over in time for NEWTS.”

“That’s brilliant, Jamie.  I’m so excited for you, proud of you, all the emotions really!”

“Thanks.” He said, shoving his hands in his pockets.  “Now go get a shower and I’ll make us some breakfast.”

 

James, it turns out, could not make them some breakfast. 

“It was an impressive feat.”  Teddy said, laughing, as he held the door to the Three Broomsticks open for James to enter.  “I’m not sure I’ve ever had eggs that were crunchy AND chewy at the same time.”

“So ungrateful!”  James said, shoving him playfully in the shoulder.  “Last time I make you breakfast.”

“Thank, Merlin for small favours!”  Teddy cackled, motioning for the waitress.  He looked to his mate and saw him looking passed him to a booth by the window.  “What is it?” 

“It’s Noah.”  James said and Teddy saw the two, young men make eye contact across the room.  “Do you mind if I step out for a second?  I want to tell him about everything.”

“Go, of course.”  Teddy said; ignoring the unpleasant, prickle of jealousy in his chest.  “I’ll just order your usual.”

“Thanks.”  James threw him a lopsided grin and left the restaurant. 

An unreasonable amount of time had passed since Jamie left Teddy alone.  The blue haired man, well, brown today, because James said that he liked it, had already ordered and eaten his entire meal.  After James still didn’t appear, Teddy had eaten his God brother’s bacon for good measure.  Once forty-five minutes passed, Teddy had had enough, paid and exited the restaurant.  Looking left and then right, he tried to think where the pair would have snuck off to for a celebratory snog and decided on trying the alley to the left of the diner.  As soon as he stepped into the narrow lane, his ears were filled with the familiar buzzing from the muffliato spell.  Once his eyes adjusted to the dim lighting and his ears began tolerating the sound, he could clearly make out the shapes of the two men standing and clearly arguing, about 10 yards in front of him. 

James appeared to have noticed him at the same time and took out his wand, miming a casting which thankfully ended the buzzing in Teddy’s ears. 

“Relax, it’s Teddy, he already knows.”  He heard Jamie say.

“Oh, now Teddy knows too?”  Noah shouted, clearly already furious.

James’s jaw was set in an angry grimace.  “Yes, Noah, my best mate knows too.”  He spat.  “I am so over this.  This isn’t just about you, you know?  This is my life too.” 

Teddy felt remarkably awkward and turned to leave.  “You know what!”  Noah said, his anger rising.  “It is your life, so go live it without me.”

“Fine by me, you coward.  Goodbye, Noah.”  James said as he pushed passed Teddy and out into the street.

 


	3. Chapter 3

Teddy had expected James to be depressed, or at the very least, surly in the weeks that followed his breakup with Noah.  Surprisingly, however, the man appeared to be completely unaffected.  Once or twice, Teddy tried to get him to open up; assuming that his jovial nature was some sort of front, but even with copious amount of alcohol in his system, the teen still insisted that he was completely fine.  Either he was telling the truth or he’d taken to hiding things from Teddy which, considering that they were closer than ever, seemed highly unlikely.  So Teddy decided to take him at his word and enjoy the rest of their summer together. 

As it turns out, this summer was developing into the best in Teddy’s recent memory.  James and he spent so much time together that he’d considered inviting him to move in after Hogwarts, after all this weird attraction business was over with, that is.  The ‘weird attraction business,’ as he’d taken to calling it, had not improved with the increased close proximity.  However, Teddy had recently started allowing himself the indulgence of an occasional wank starring his best mate.  He usually batted away the stirrings of guilt in his chest with the rationalization that they call it a ‘fantasy’ because it is something that is impossible in real life.  Whenever that justification failed, he’d remind himself that there were people who probably wanked over fruit or something, but it didn’t mean that they actually wanted to have sex with fruit, right?  Or did it? Either way, he was going to explode if he didn’t masturbate occasionally and he apparently had no control over the images in his head so he’d have to live with it. 

After a long shift, Teddy landed in his living room desperately in need of a shower and one such wank.  As soon as he stepped from the fireplace he saw a familiar form stretched across his couch, clearly unconscious, in a white t shirt that rode up revealing a path of dark hair disappearing beneath a pair of heather grey sweatpants.  Godric, he thought as his mouth went dry, he really needed to get into that shower.  Just as he was blowing passed the couch to handle his situation, a hand shot out and caught his wrist.

“Hey.”  James said, flashing a gorgeous, lazy smile at him.  “Where are you rushing off too?”

“Um…”  Teddy stammered as James eyed him perceptively, his brain was screaming that this was a dangerous situation and he needed to deflect immediately.  “What are you even doing here?  I thought you weren’t coming over until dinner today?  I made tea plans with my gran.”

James’s thumb swiped over the pulse point in Teddy’s wrist, as he released, leaving a trail of goose flesh along his arm.  “Sorry, I should’ve asked, but Albus had Scorpius over to help pack and well, you know how they are.  They haven’t stopped giggling for hours; I swear they’re worse than Lily and her friends.  I meant to be out of here before you were done with your shift but I passed out.”  James stood, and Teddy shifted his body away doing his best to conceal his problem.  “I’ll head home now and meet you back here at 6?”

“No.”  Teddy blurted before fully thinking.  Now that James was in his company with term starting tomorrow, the prospect of spending more time with him was too alluring.  “Come with me to Gran’s.”

James raised his eyebrows, skeptically.  “Are you sure?  I don’t want to impose on grandson, grandmother bonding time.”

Teddy smiled easily.  “Yeah, you know she likes you better anyway.”

“Ha, I mean that is absolutely a fact.”

“So, I just need to grab a shower and then we can head out?” Teddy questioned, as he started heading towards the bathroom. 

“A _shower_.  Yeah, I could really use a _shower_ too.”  James said, his tone entirely indecipherable.

The curious quality of his voice gave Teddy pause and he glanced back over his shoulder to see James eyeing him, a smirk playing on his lips.  His tongue darted out and wetted his bottom lip as his eyes skirted down Teddy’s form, his gaze feeling like a caress over the older man’s already keyed up body.  Teddy cleared his throat, “Yeah, I was going to mention the smell but was trying to choose kind and all that…” he said, attempting to break the tension.  “Head back to _yours_ and just pop back over when you’re done.”

The finality in his tone had James nodding once before heading to the floo.  The moment the brunette vanished in a cloud of smoke, Teddy let out a huge sigh before practically running to the shower, this kid was going to be the death of him.

 

Gran was sitting in her usual spot in the sun room when Teddy and James landed in her floo.  A huge smile immediately split the old woman’s face as she motioned for the duo to come in for hugs.

“Oh, look at that!  My favourite grandson,” she said as she pulled James in for a hug.  The teen smirked over his shoulder as Teddy chuckled and shook his head.  “…and Teddy too!” she finished, pulling him into an embrace just as tight.  Teddy rolled his eyes as James winked at him over Andromeda’s shoulder.  “Now what do I owe the pleasure, and on the last day before Hogwarts too, if I recall?”

“Come on, Gran.”  He said pulling back and smiling at James who gave him a challenging stare. “You know James doesn’t have any other friends, always following me around like a puppy dog, that one.”

“Oi!”  James shouted, smacking Teddy in the arm.  “Lies, Gran Tonks – I only came to see your beautiful face.  And anyway, I think we both know that it’s Teddy who only has one friend.”

Gran let out a huff of laughter which quickly dissolved into a coughing fit.  Without a moment’s hesitation, James was at her side with a glass of water.  “That’s a nasty cough you’ve got there.  Have you seen a healer?”

Andromeda flashed him a pleased look as she nodded her head.  “I’ve seen them all, deary.  This is apparently just what getting old looks like.  Anyway, I think you’ve _both_ been sort of obsessed with each other since the moment you were born.  Hand me that photo book there.”  She finished, motioning towards a book on the shelf that Teddy was well aware contained various, embarrassing childhood photographs. 

He shook his head.  “No, I don’t think I will, Gran.  We’ve all seen them a hundred times, no need to drag them out again.”

Rolling her eyes, Andromeda turned towards James and spoke in a stage whisper.  “Do you see this cheek I get after raising him entirely on my own?  And he wonders why you’re my favourite.”

Teddy groaned, reaching for the book and dropping it in her lap.  “You are both impossible.”

James flashed him a grin and perched on the arm of his gran’s chair as she flipped through the pages.   “Here, see what I mean?”  She said motioning to the book as Teddy begrudgingly leaned over James to see a photo of a newborn being placed in six-year old Teddy’s arms.  The baby was squirming uncomfortably until Teddy started talking softly and he froze, eyes transfixed on the blue-haired boy.  Teddy looked up and smiled proudly at the surrounding adults before placing a gentle kiss on James’s forehead. 

Andromeda continued to page through, stopping at the occasional picture to elaborate on a story, or remark on how cute their connection was, or simply to lament on how quickly time passes.  She was about to close the book when James stopped her, pulling the album closer to his face before chuckling and gesticulating for Teddy to look.  The picture was taken three or four years ago in the Potter’s living room.  James sat on Teddy’s right as the older boy conversed with a group of Weasley cousins, laughing as usual.  Everyone was very engaged in the conversation except for thirteen year old James who only had eyes for Teddy.  The adoration in his gaze was so strong; Teddy was taken-aback at how he didn’t see it sooner.  When he met the younger man’s eyes, James only mouthed ‘told you...beautiful,’ before closing the book and suggesting tea. 

 

Eventually, after entirely too many biscuits and some remarkably mediocre tea, they found themselves back in Teddy’s flat watching a muggle space film.  Teddy had suggested a trip to the pub or meeting friends for dinner but James insisted that he just wanted a boring night in with his best mate.  Since it was his last night of ‘freedom,’ Teddy humoured him. 

As the credits rolled, James stretched his legs before announcing, “I better get going!  Mum wants to spend some time with me before the train tomorrow.”

“Yeah, I get it.”  Teddy said even as he felt his chest tighten at the realization that this was goodbye for a while.  “You know I can’t be there tomorrow.”  He looked away feeling his eyes well up, what the hell was wrong with him?  He’d said goodbye to James many times without dissolving into a blubbering first year. 

“Right.  Work and being a proper adult and all…”  James said, attempting humour but clearly struggling along the same vein as Teddy.

“Ha.  Something like that.”  There was a beat of awkward silence that Teddy broke first.  “I’m going to really properly miss you, you know?”

James nodded and spoke in barely more than a whisper.  “Me too.”

“You, my friend, will be so busy you won’t even have time to spare me a thought.  I, on the other hand, will have to visit my Gran twice a day just to avoid feeling like a friendless loser.”

James let out an empty chuckle and brought his eyes up to meet Teddy’s, both sets glassy, as the younger man worried his bottom lip between his teeth.  The uneasy gesture, so at odds with the entire persona of James Potter, had the blue haired man pulling his friend into a hard embrace.  Teddy buried his face in the brunette’s hair breathing in the very essence that was James.  It was only a few months and then his friend would be home for Christmas, this wasn’t goodbye forever.  Something in the air in that moment, though, it felt monumental and it made Teddy hesitate to let go. 

It was James who pulled back first, but only far enough to see the pain on Teddy’s face.  The teen’s hand came up and brushed against Teddy’s cheek, finding a resting place at the base of his scalp, his thumb rubbing against the sharp bone.  Teddy’s breath was coming in anxious pants as he subconsciously pushed further into his best mate’s hand, searching for the comforting touch.  That small gesture, barely noticeable, was enough and without a moment’s hesitation, James brought their lips together for a kiss.

This kiss was nothing like the previous they had shared and, if he was being honest with himself, was nothing like any Teddy had shared with anyone.  James licked at the seam of Teddy’s lips, silently begging entrance and without a thought, Teddy allowed it, tilting his head and pulling on his friend’s shoulders to deepen it.  Where their previous kisses had been hungry, passionate, even a bit clumsy, this kiss was perfect, as if every emotion they had been suppressing poured into each other.  Teddy wasn’t sure how he had lived without this, how he _would_ live without this because James was leaving.  Even if he hadn’t been leaving, they couldn’t do this, they were family.   Those thoughts, the ones that had been plaguing him since the start of summer made Teddy pull away.

“Jamie, no.”  He said softly, resting his forehead against the teen’s. 

“Teddy, please.”  James begged, looking into his friend’s eyes. 

“I can’t.”  Teddy said, wishing that his voice hadn’t sounded so desperate.  “We can’t.”

“I know you want me as much I want you.  Please.”  He said, pulling Teddy into another kiss, this one much more heated than the last.  Teddy allowed himself to melt against him for only a moment before pushing him away more harshly this time.    

 “Jamie, no”  He said, severely, his chest heaving whether because of withheld tears or desire, he couldn’t be sure.  “You don’t know what you want.  You’re still in school, you just broke up with Noah…”

“I don’t give a damn about Noah.” He said, taking a step towards the older man.

“James.”  Teddy barked, warningly.  He knew that he didn’t have the willpower to push him away a third time.

“Teddy, this has nothing to do with Noah.”  James was pleading now and the pain in his voice was slowly killing Teddy.

“Please stop.”  Teddy begged. “We can’t talk about this.”

James brought his hand up to cup the side of Teddy’s face again.  “It has always been you.”  He said in little more than a whisper. 

“Don’t.”  Teddy yelled, he couldn’t be saying what Teddy thought he was saying.  He couldn’t say it.  It would ruin everything.  “Jamie, don’t.”

“I’m in love with you.” 

Crashing into him like the killing curse, those words – the words that signified everything he wanted but never let himself admit; the words that were everything he couldn’t have – they caused the first angry, helpless tears to spill onto his cheeks.

“God damnit, James.”  He sobbed.  “How selfish can you be?”

As if suddenly slapped, the younger man dropped his hand and stepped back.  “Selfish?”  He asked in a pained tone.

“Yes.”  Teddy shouted incredulously.  “What do you reckon will happen if this doesn’t work out?  Huh?  Have you even thought about that?”  Teddy watched as James’s guilty eyes found the floor.  “I’m sure it’ll be really hard for you, losing your best mate.  ME, I only have my gran, James.  Your family _is_ my family, if this doesn’t work out, I lose everything.  And that’s if they believe that I haven’t been perving on you since you were fourteen, or Merlin forbid they think that I’m the reason you’re gay, that I’d been inappropriate with you forever.”

“Teddy, they’d never think that.”

“You don’t know that.”  Teddy let out a frustrated sigh, scrubbing his hands across his face.  “This isn't a game. This, Jamie,” he said, motioning between the two of them, “this has the potential to ruin my life.”

That was it, for the first time in months they had been completely honest with each other and Teddy was positive that he preferred the lies, the innuendos, and the misunderstandings to this.  Because this was heartbreak in its purest form and he wasn’t sure he was strong enough to take it.  They stood in the heavy quiet of the room for what felt like an eternity, the only sound was their stuttered breathing and soft sniffles.  Finally, James’s red rimmed eyes and tear stained face met his.

“Okay.”  He said in a pitiful tone of defeat.  “I’m sorry.  I didn’t - I’m sure nothing, no one would be worth risking everything.  I’m sorry. I’ll just…”  he finished sadly, motioning to the floo. 

Teddy could only nod, holding his breath. He had no right to cry right now, to break down and expect James to comfort him through his own heartbreak.  Instead he fought every urge he had to reach out and grab his best mate, to kiss him, to let him know that he loves him back.  He stood silently and watched as his Jamie, the most important person in the world, vanished in a cloud of smoke. 


	4. Chapter 4

At first the pain was unbearable.  Everywhere he looked was James – from photographs in his flat to boys rough-housing at the park, from Sunday brunch to lovers on the street, the absence of James screamed its existence.  To make matters worse, he couldn’t talk about it - couldn’t tell anyone that he was nursing a broken heart, mourning his best friend, and praying to still have a family all at once.  He’d sit at Sunday brunch with everyone and laugh, discuss the weather, when inside he felt as though he was spiraling towards some horrible inevitability where everything would come crashing down.  The funny thing was that a part of him wanted it to.  Part of him craved to have them ask what was bothering him at the ‘wrong’ moment, the moment where he couldn’t stop himself from spilling all his truths.  He was much too guarded for that though, only James had the power to disarm him that remarkably.

Harry always said that life took a few weeks to find a new normal after the ‘kids’ went off to Hogwarts, so his complete isolation went unnoticed at first.  He was sure that they just assumed that he was missing his best mate or catching up on work or chores that he had neglected over the summer.  When they started popping around unannounced for tea or, Merlin forbid, asking him how he was doing, Teddy realized that he had to do a better job of imitating a functioning wizard.

After almost two months, he felt like he was doing a decent job of it, managing to fall into a routine which did a fairly good impersonation of a life.  It was a sad, lonely routine – but he found comfort in the monotony none the less.  Any day that he needed a concrete distraction, he would pop into the office for a few hours to work through his shelved cases.  Unfortunately, thus far that meant that he was working every day of the week.  Sunday was brunch at the Potters as always.  Tuesdays and Thursdays he would have tea with his Gran, where she would eye him perceptively and say little side comments like “he’ll be back ‘round Christmas, love.”  Sometimes his heart ached at how close to the mark she was, yet how far; he longed to unburden himself and tell her everything but the fear of how she would react was stronger.  Instead he’d mumble some lie about work being stressful and she’d smile at him sadly, running her hands through his hair like she did when he was a boy.  Tuesdays and Thursdays were his favourite. 

Every single night, no matter what the day held, Teddy would end it the same way - with tears, a sense of hopelessness, and a quill in his hand.  Once the pain of pretending became too much too bear, he’d break and sit down to write James a letter.

 

_James,_

_I’m so sorry. Please forgive me._

_-Teds_

_James,_

_I wish things could be different.  I’m sorry I’m a coward. Please don’t abandon me._

_-Teddy_

_Jamie,_

_I’m trying to give you time to process but I need my best mate.  I don’t want to ruin your final year at Hogwarts but I’m dying not hearing from you.  Are we okay?_

_Love,_

_Teddy_

_Jamie,_

_I was wrong.  I need you.  I love you.  I can’t live without you.  I’m sick of hiding.  When can I see you?_

_All my love,_

_Teds_

And then every morning, at first light, he’d burn the letter in the fireplace and begin the vicious cycle of the day again.  With months of the unchanging pain came the realization that nursing a broken heart in secret was one of the most agonizing experiences to endure.

He couldn’t have been more wrong.

 

It was a day that started like any other Thursday but ended as one he would never forget.  He had exercised vigorously in the morning before heading into the office.  His partner, Kettletoft was ill which meant that he was on intake duty – the most boring assignment in the auror office.   Intake duty involved the type of menial tasks that had you questioning not only your career choices but the meaning of your very existence.  To avoid such an existential crisis, he was deciding between charming paper clips or post-it notes to dance a rousing jig when Harry landed through the office floo. 

“Harry?”

“Oh, Teddy.”  The quality in his godfather’s voice was unlike any Teddy had ever heard, a quiet sort of agony, and it had him on his feet before he knew what he was doing. 

“What’s wrong?”  He asked.

“It’s Andromeda – Gran, I mean…Teddy, it’s not good.”

“What do you mean?” He asked, irritably. 

Harry looked to be on the verge of tears and Teddy felt irrationally angry with him.  There was nothing to cry about; he just needed to relay the information so that Teddy could handle this.  “She’s at St. Mungo’s, Teds.”  Harry continued.  “It’s not good…we don’t have time for me to give you any more information than that, even if I had any.”

Teddy’s mouth dropped open as his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.  “I don’t understand,” he sputtered.  “Why don’t we have time?  Harry, what’s happened to her?”  Even as he said, it he knew it was a stupid question, knew that Harry had already said they had to hurry but this was all so ludicrous, he had just spoken to Gran the night before.  Harry had to be mistaken. 

Harry swallowed once hard and placed a hand on Teddy’s shoulder.  “She’s dying, Teddy.  I know that this isn’t easy and that it’s not fair, but if you take even a moment to process this right now, you’re going to miss saying goodbye.  We have to leave.”

Teddy nodded numbly and followed Harry over to the floo even as a ringing took over his ears.  He grabbed a handful of floo powder despite the pins and needles clawing their way through his hands.  His vision narrowed to Harry in front of him and he pushed away the sudden, unexplainable urge to laugh.  ‘Oh,’ he thought stupidly, “so this is what going into shock feels like.”  At Harry’s prompting he managed to declare his destination and he landed in the bustling main lobby of St. Mungo’s Hospital.  He barely had time to blink at the sudden shift from drab browns and muted lighting to fluorescents and sterile white before Harry had his arm and was pulling him down the nearest hallway. 

‘Harry’s right,’ he thought bitterly as they stopped in front of a small room at the end of the hallway, ‘this isn’t fair.’ Staring at the door, he felt suddenly terrified and if it weren’t for Harry’s presence, may have fled on the spot.  Instead Harry opened the door and ushered the confused young man inside.

He’d been to St. Mungo’s many times before, James was a typical reckless Gryffindor after all, and it amazed him how familiar the room was yet how foreign the feeling was within.  Gran was lying on the bed with her eyes closed and Teddy had the sudden realization that they may have missed it, that she may be gone already.  Ginny turned from where she sat at Gran’s bedside, her red hair whipping away to reveal a tear stained face.  “Oh, Teddy, you made it” she said, her voice breaking as she dropped Andromeda’s hand and stood.  ‘No,’ Teddy thought, ‘she shouldn’t do that, Gran shouldn’t be alone.’  He allowed her only to squeeze his shoulder before hurrying to take her vacated spot.  He grasped the fragile hand of his grandmother so carefully like he could possibly do anymore damage.  He found him transfixed by her pale, small hand in his.  This was the same hand which made his favourite meal – macaroni and cheese –every day for a month once because he’d refused to eat anything else.  This was the same hand that combed his hair every morning only for him to transfigure it into a new color and cut within the hour so that she’d have to comb it again.  This was the same hand that he’d never get to hold again. 

He turned to Ginny and swallowed hard before speaking, not wanting to break down for this important moment.  ”I don’t understand.”  He managed to choke out.  “How long does she have?”

“She’s barely here now, love.  The healer has her on muggle oxygen, I only had them do it to give you time.  Even with that, though, she’s fading fast so when we pull her off…it’ll be quick.” Ginny answered kindly as Teddy turned back to his grandmother.  “She’s apparently been sick, Ted.  The healer told me that she was diagnosed last year and refused treatment.  She knew that it would take her.”

Andromeda knew, she knew that she would die from whatever this is and she refused treatment.  Teddy wanted to be angry with her but couldn’t find it in himself.  He imagined the old woman who he loved so much receiving the news surrounded by healers, but still alone.  He thought about the hurt she must have felt at the comprehension that she’d be leaving Teddy but also, there must have been joy - the joy that she’d see her Dora and her Ted again on the other side.  She must have felt so conflicted, so worried about leaving Teddy, especially with his mood as of late.  He smiled sadly, “It’s okay,” he said honestly to Ginny.  “It’s okay.”  He whispered again only to his Gran, placing a kiss on her forehead.  “It’s okay, Gran.  I forgive you and I love you.  Give mum a kiss from me.”

 

It didn’t happen like Teddy thought it would.  There were no dramatic monologues giving closure to her loved ones, no tender moment between the two of them before she broke eye contact and took her last breath, not even a total reassurance that she was ready.  It seemed a great injustice that a woman as wonderful as Andromeda Tonks would leave the world with nothing more than a few ragged, gasping breaths but ultimately that’s how she went.  In the end, Teddy couldn’t even cry – settling for stroking her thin, white hair and placing a kiss on her forehead.  Ginny and Harry wept softly on either side of him, murmuring assurances and taking turns rubbing his back, but even though it gave him a slight sense of guilt to acknowledge it, he didn’t want – no, he didn’t need _them_ in that moment.  He only needed his Jamie.

As if reading his mind, Ginny stood and said, “I’m going to go tell the kids.  I’m sure James will want to come.”

Teddy wasn’t so sure after the way they’d left things, after the months of silence, but he nodded to her hoping that he was wrong.   

After Ginny left, Harry and Teddy sat in silence for a few moments before the older man cleared his throat.  “Teddy, it’s okay to let go if you need to.  Ginny has always said…well, it’s not healthy to hold this all in.   I just want you to know that I’m here if you need me.  I can be strong for you, you don’t have to be.”

In that moment, Teddy felt so grateful for his godfather, his wonderful, emotionally stunted father figure that he wanted to list all the ways in which the man was important to him.  However, he didn’t think it was the place, nor did he have the words, so instead he flashed him a weak smile and said, “Thanks Harry.”

Their bonding moment was interrupted by the arrival of a tired-looking healer.  “Excuse me, I’m sorry to interrupt but are you the grandson?”

Teddy nodded.

“I’m going to have my medi-witch bring you some paperwork to fill out.  Could I ask you to move into the hallway to do that while I finish a few things up in here?”  The healer looked apologetic but continued, clearly needing to complete his tasks, “You’ll be able to come back in and say goodbye after.”

Walking into the hallway was a very surreal moment, as if the change in scenery made what transpired in that room a reality.  The strangeness that the last time he stood in this spot – just an hour before, his grandmother was alive and now she wasn’t; it was almost too much.  Teddy leaned back against the wall wanting to be anywhere but there in that moment.  “How long do you think this will take?” he asked Harry.

Harry opened his mouth to respond but was interrupted by a shout of “Teddy!”  Teddy looked up to see a very disheveled looking James sprinting his way, his face an open book of anguish and concern.

“Jamie.”  He said more to himself than anyone else, pushing off the wall and taking two huge strides before falling, shattered into his friend’s arms.  The familiar feeling of those arms wrapped around him, the weight of the day, the intensity of the loss that he just experienced, all those things had him sobbing into the younger man’s shirt before he’d even had time to process it. 

“Shhhh…I’m here,” James chanted over and over again, carding his fingers through Teddy’s hair and cradling him softly to his chest.  “I’ve got you, Teds.  It’s okay.”  Eventually, without letting go, James managed to maneuver them onto a nearby bench.  Teddy was vaguely aware that Harry and Ginny stood by talking in whispers, but couldn’t stop sobbing long enough to give the scenario a full thought.  His Gran was dead, his Jamie was with him; in that moment those two facts had all the focus of his mind.

After what could have been moments or hours, Teddy felt rational enough to lift his head, bringing his eyes up to meet his best mate’s for the first time in months.  “Hi.”  Jamie said, his eyes red and puffy and a sad smile playing at his lips. 

“Hey.”  Teddy replied, his voice barely audible.  “I want to leave.”

James nodded.  “This sucks but you have some paperwork here you need to sign first.  Mum read through it all so she said just a wave of the wand and they’ll be done.”  James indicated a few pages to his right which Teddy had no recollection of being placed there, although, he had no recollection of when James started crying either, so his memory was clearly not very reliable at the moment.  “I’d also like to see her before we go if it’s okay with you?”  he asked shyly. 

“Of course.”  Teddy croaked out.  “I want to…I mean, I’ll go with you.”  He leaned back just far enough to reach his wand, not wanting to let go of James, and spelled his name onto the necessary pages. 

James stood and Teddy had a brief moment of panic at their separation but before he had a chance to voice his need, James’s hand was on his back leading him into the room.  James walked right up to Andromeda’s body and placed a kiss on her forehead, leaving his lips connected as he wept softly.  Teddy felt suddenly guilty at monopolizing the mourning time; Jamie loved her too of course.  He rubbed his friend’s back, crying – softly this time, thank Merlin – himself. 

After their brief goodbye, they returned to the hallway where Harry and Ginny waited for them looking much older than Teddy had ever seen them look.  “I’m ready to go.”  He announced to everyone and no one in particular.

“Of course, love.”  Ginny said, pulling him into the hug she’d been dying to give since he’d arrived.  “I floo’d ahead for Albus to set up your old room.”

“Actually,” Teddy said, “thank you but I’m just going to go home tonight.”

“Teddy, love, I don’t think you should be alone.”

“He won’t be alone.”  James interrupted and when Ginny looked skeptical he continued, “I’ve got him, mum.”

 

Landing in his flat after such an emotionally draining day felt entirely unreal.  He stood by his couch with his hands on his temples attempting to process what the hell had just happened but was coming up empty.  A strange numbness had settled in his chest so that he couldn’t feel anything at all.  James came up behind him and placed a hand on his back which startled Teddy.  “Sorry.” He smiled weakly.  “Bed?” he asked. 

Teddy nodded and the duo made their way to his room where Teddy, with his clothes and shoes still on, fell onto his bed.  “Don’t leave me, okay?” he asked pitifully.

James laid down next to him, close enough to touch if he needed him but not crossing any lines beyond friendship.  “Okay,” James whispered as Teddy fell into a deep sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

Upon waking, it took only a moment for Teddy to remember the pain from the previous day.  He blinked his swollen eyes open and attempted to stretch his sore limbs, wishing desperately that it had all been a terrible dream.  “Gran,” he thought, his heart filling with an emptiness so strong that he felt wet tears splash down his cheeks before he was even aware that he was crying.  He wasn’t sure how he was going to get through the next few days, the next few weeks, his _life_ without his grandmother.  He was sure that he wouldn’t have survived the night if it wasn’t for James.  _“James,” he_ thought suddenly, as he sat up and rubbed the tears from his eyes.  He briefly wondered if the eldest Potter had left but when his eyes settled upon James’s discarded clothes by the foot of his bed, he realized that this wasn’t the case and threw back the covers, needing to see Jamie immediately. 

Creeping down the hall, Teddy registered muffled voices coming from the sitting room and inwardly groaned at the thought of facing anyone but James at that moment.  He lingered at the doorway and peaked around the corner, letting out a relieved sigh when he saw the younger man kneeling in front of the fireplace.

“I told you, Mum.  We’ll be over whenever he wakes up.”  James said with a slight edge to his voice.

“I just really think that the faster we finish all the funeral logistics, the better.  He’ll be able to move on and just focus on how he’s feeling.”  Ginny retorted.

James sighed.  “I know you do but you didn’t see him last night, mum.  He was tossing all night; he barely had any restful sleep.  We’ll be over after he wakes up on his own.”

Ginny paused for a moment before answering.  “Well if you think it’s best…”

“I do.”  James said, his voice dripping with a fierce protectiveness that pulled at something in Teddy’s heart, causing his eyes to well with tears.  He turned to retreat down the hallway when James’s voice stopped him in his tracks. 

“Hey…” Teddy turned to face James, blinking rapidly to clear away the tears and allowing himself to fully look upon his friend for the first time in months.  It was clear that the stressful term was taking a toll on the younger man, he’d lost a bit of weight and the dark circles under his eyes looked to be from more than just the previous night.  Sometime after Teddy had fallen asleep James must have found an old pair of Hufflepuff sweatpants in the drawer and Teddy couldn’t help but smile at the sight of Mr. Gryffindor himself representing the badger. 

James chuckled, noticing Teddy’s eye line.  “It was dark, alright?  These wouldn’t have been my first choice.  Although, I am glad to see you smiling.”  He said, knocking shoulders with the older man.  “So I managed to beg off mum for a bit.  We’ll have to head that way soon but what do you think about some coffee first?”  James asked with an apologetic smile.

Teddy was so thankful that he didn’t ask something ridiculous like how he was doing.  Afraid that he would break down because of his intense gratitude for James in that moment, Teddy only nodded and followed the younger man into the kitchen.  As Teddy watched his Jamie, cloaked in Hufflepuff gear none-the-less, ready the muggle coffee maker with a quiet determination and barely audible cursing, Teddy’s chest filled with something that felt remarkably like inevitability. 

It took three long strides to reach James, three steps before his arms were wrapped around the man who he loved so intensely and even those three felt too long a time.  James tensed slightly at first before Teddy attempted to bury his face in the brunette’s shoulder blades and started weeping softly.  James covered Teddy’s hands with his own, squeezing lightly and running his thumb in comforting circles over the back of his wrists.

“I’m so, so sorry.”  Teddy said as his tears fell against his friend’s shirt.  James attempted to turn at his words but Teddy held him firm.  “I’ve always been such a coward.  You’re the only reason I got into half the things I did when I was a kid.  You’re absolutely fearless, Jamie.”

“Teddy…” James started trying to turn again.

“No.”  Teddy said, his voice coming out in sobbing gasps.  “You know what the worst part is?” He asked suddenly, continuing only when he felt James shake his head.  “She’ll never know that I love you.”

This time when James attempted to turn, Teddy allowed it looking upon his friend’s equally tear-stained face.  “Teddy.”  He said, his hand cupping the side of the blue haired man’s face. 

“And I do, Jamie, I’m sorry but I love you so much.  And the rest of it, all the other stuff, all the reasons to not just love you…it all seems so meaningless now.  I am in love with you.  And if I hadn’t been such a coward…”

“Stop.”  James said, his voice quiet yet commanding.  “Stop, Teddy.   This, this _is_ big.  This _is_ scary.  You aren’t a coward for acknowledging that.  Okay?”

Teddy nodded, pushing his cheek further into the younger man’s hand.  His eyes flickered up, meeting James’s hazel ones, his tongue coming out to wet his lips, then slowly but determinedly he leaned forward, bringing their lips together in a warm kiss.   Teddy’s very broken heart soared at that moment and his mind narrowed to one singular focus – _more._   With that thought, he pushed James further into the counter, tilting his head to allow the kiss to be deepened.  James swiped his tongue across the older man’s lips and that very light sensation caused a quiet groan to rip from Teddy’s lips.  As if the sound brought him back to himself, James pulled his face away.

“Teddy.”  James said, lightly pushing against Teddy’s chest.

“I want…”  Teddy said against his lips, attempting to deepen the kiss again.

James chuckled, pulling just out of Teddy’s mouth’s reach before circling his hand around Teddy’s neck to play with the short tufts of hair there.  “I think you’re the very definition of emotionally compromised right now, Teds.”  Teddy groaned, allowing his head to fall dramatically onto his friend’s shoulder and sighing contentedly when James buried his nose in his hair.  “I’d hate myself if I took advantage, you know?  Let’s just give it some time, okay?”

Teddy nodded.  “I hate how mature you’re being right now.”  James laughed and kissed the side of his head, ridiculously making Teddy blush. 

“Ha!  That’s me, always known for my maturity.”  He replied sarcastically, slipping from between Teddy and the counter.  “Now make yourself some coffee.  I can’t figure this blasted thing out and I need to get into something more fitting for a Gryffindor.” 

Teddy smiled to himself as he made himself a strong cup of coffee.  He could make it through this, he was strong and with James at his side he could get through anything.

 

The next few days passed in an awful haze of mourning.  Choosing music, clothes, casket lining, speakers, and many other asinine decisions that Teddy couldn’t believe anyone _ever_ cared about let alone after just losing a loved one.  He’d never felt more thankful for the Potters in his life.  James who never left his side, being his voice when he desperately needed a break but felt too badly to verbalize it.  Harry who, clearly uncomfortable, took to making an insane amount of food, including all of Teddy’s favourites from childhood even though Teddy didn’t have the stomach for it.  Lily and Albus and their whispered, sarcastic comments about their father’s poor coping mechanisms that gave Teddy brief moments of laughter amongst all the pain.  And Ginny - all of her quiet strength, organizing the entire thing and leading Teddy through every, single decision, even making them for him when he couldn’t.  Teddy knew that they were mourning too, that he wasn’t the only one who loved Andromeda but _he_ was each of their primary concerns and that fact made him feel desperately loved – like he’d never actually be alone. 

 If the planning had been some strange, surreal nightmare then the funeral itself was a painful shot of reality.  Seeing her lying in the casket, looking beautiful yet somehow not quite herself - knowing that everyone knew she was gone and hearing the pity in their voices when they spoke to him – seeing the entire family sitting together except one important face who _always_ found his in the crowd – it somehow, made it real.  He clasped desperately to James’s hand the entire time, his anchor in this wretched storm.  He could feel the families’ eyes on them at times but couldn’t bring himself to care.  He needed Jamie in that moment and whether they were reading into their clasped hands or not, didn’t change that fact.

After the funeral they all gathered at the Potter’s house for the wake.  The support from the extended family, which at first was a comfort, quickly became tiresome and overwhelming.  As guilty as it made him feel, Teddy excused himself to the garden at the first possible opportunity.  Without a thought, his feet carried him to the bench at the far side of the property –the one that overlooked the woods to the east.  He fell onto the bench allowing his brain to travel through happy memories, ones of chasing Potters and Weasleys through the woods while his Gran happily chatted with Ginny on this very bench.  He held onto the happiness and smiled in spite of his broken heart.

 

The sun was beginning to set behind the Potter’s house and the first breeze of the evening was biting at his cheeks before his seclusion was broken.  He had been sitting unthinkingly so the footsteps did not go unnoticed.  Assuming it was James; he didn’t bother to turn and put on a façade but instead sat staring over the woods.

“Hey.”  Harry’s unexpected voice startled him.

“Oh, hi.  Sorry, I was going to come back in and then…I didn’t.”  He finished lamely.

Harry chuckled and sat down next to his Godson, offering a glass of firewhiskey which Teddy readily accepted.  “Don’t worry about it.  Trust me, I get it.  I think you forget sometimes that I’m not actually a Weasley.”

Teddy chuckled, taking a swig of the firewshisky, relishing the way it burned.  “You’re right, I do.  They, um, they’re…”

“Weasleys.”  Harry offered.  “They are the warmest group of human beings you’ll ever come across but they don’t understand the concept of solitude.”

“Or quiet.”  Teddy supplied.

Harry let out a snort of laughter into his glass.  “Ha!  They really can’t help it though.  There are so damn many of them, they have to yell over each other if they want any attention at all!”

The two men laughed easily, Harry’s hand coming to rest on Teddy’s shoulder, squeezing ever so slightly.

“So, Teddy, I…uh…I thought you should know that I spoke with James.”

Teddy’s entire body went rigid at Harry’s words, like a deer caught in a state of fight or flight.  He must have looked it too because Harry instantly moved to placate him.  “Don’t be mad at him.  It was apparent that something had changed between you two; I mean you’ve always been close but not exactly _this_ close.  You know what I mean?”  Teddy didn’t dare move but Harry continued.  “So I kind of dragged it out of him.  He’s not thrilled with me but he says that there are some, uh, some feelings there?”

Teddy took another drink more for something to do than anything else; he nodded dumbly, staring into his glass.

“And that you’ve been worried about how we would react?” Harry asked, leaning down to try and catch his eyes.  Teddy didn’t dare look up, only nodding again.  He’d thought he was ready for this conversation but feeling the lump form in his throat, he realized that he was wrong.

“To be honest, Teddy, I think I would have felt a bit weird about it before.  I mean, he’s young and I always thought of you two like brothers, you know?  Obviously I had that bit wrong, though, eh?”  Harry said, laughing uncomfortably. “But these last few days, I’ve seen such a shift in you two, just watching you together – especially at the hospital.”  Teddy shifted uneasily, he’d rather Harry scream at him than think about the pain from St. Mungos again.  Luckily, Harry spared him both negative outcomes and continued, his voice barely above a whisper.  “You know I was really lucky growing up, people always fixate on all the losses of my childhood but I had some amazing support too.  I had Ron and Hermoine and they were _always_ there for me, I had the Weasleys and I knew that I could tell them anything, that they’d do their bests to get me anything I needed, Neville, Luna, Professor McGonagall, Dumbledore…all of these amazing people who were there for me but there has _never_ been anyone who I could completely break with like my Ginny.”

Harry’s words washed over Teddy in waves causing him to choke back sobs.  The things his Godfather was saying sounded remarkably like acceptance and understanding and he never imagined that he’d be so lucky.  He met the older man’s eyes who put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed before continuing. 

“Guys like us, Teddy, finding that connection, that’s special…and any hang ups that I’m having are more about the fact that I think of you as one of mine than anything else.  And I’m so sorry that I did such a shit job of making you understand how I feel about you that you’d think anything could _ever_ change that.  No matter how this all turns out with you and Jamie, we’re your family too, Teddy.  Okay?”

Teddy nodded furiously, leaning into his Godfather and allowing fresh tears to spill over his eyes and onto the older man’s shoulder.  Harry enveloped him in a hug clapping him hard on the back several times.  “Thank you.” Teddy whispered as he leaned back and wiped his eyes.  “I didn’t mean to love him, not like this.”

“Ha,” Harry laughed as he leaned back and took a swig of his firewhiskey. “And I didn’t mean to fall for my best mate’s sister!  Weird things happen.”

There was a beat of comfortable silence as something began to dawn on Teddy.

 “You know, that was like a proper heart to heart.”  Teddy said, chuckling and raising his eyebrows accusingly.  “If I didn’t know better I’d say that you had a bit of coaching from Gin.”

Harry’s mouth dropped open.  “You little shit.  You couldn’t just let me have this one?”  Teddy started laughing hysterically at the savior of the wizarding world’s intense indignation.  “Unbelievable.” He mumbled standing and extending a hand.  “Come on. Not that you deserve it, mind, but everyone’s cleared out and Ginny wants to put some food in you before you head home.”

Still chuckling, Teddy allowed himself to be pulled up into a standing position.  Harry smiled warmly shoving him playfully towards the house and as the duo made their way along the achingly familiar path to the back door, Teddy couldn’t help but feel like there had just been a cosmic shift in his universe.  Surprisingly, that realization didn’t ignite fear in him as he would’ve expected but a sense of relief.

 

James fell onto the couch loosening his tie as he went and extending out his long legs.  Teddy followed the path of his body with his eyes, his heart swelling with a sense of fondness.  “Merlin.”  James said, stretching his arms above his head.  “I’m so exhausted.”

Without a second thought, Teddy fell down directly on top of the younger man causing a loud ‘oof’ to escape from his lips.  “Are you sure you’re that tired?” Teddy asked shyly, dipping his head to kiss lightly at his friend’s jaw. 

“Teddy.” James warned but Teddy silenced him with a kiss which the brunette returned eagerly.  In Teddy’s haste to lose the stress of the day wrapped up in the moment, the kiss turned heated quickly and had both men panting into each other’s mouths within moments.  Somewhere in the back of his mind Teddy faintly remembered James’s teasing and realized that he was a sort of blushing virgin in this situation but, surprisingly, that thought gave him no pause as he slipped his hand beneath the waistband of James’s trousers.  “Woah, woah, woah,” James cautioned, catching the older man’s wrist, “slow down.  This isn’t a good idea.”  He lightly pushed Teddy away although the act looked as if it caused him physical distress, which it very well might have considering how heated their interaction had become. 

Leaning back to sit on his haunches, Teddy eyed the younger man with a look of confusion on his face.  James had sat up fully running a rough hand through his hair as he took steadying breaths.  Teddy realized with a punch to the gut that the look on his face was one of pure regret.  It made sense, he thought bitterly, it was just about the chase and now that they were here James felt that the blue haired man was being predatory.  Teddy felt ashamed, all the emotions, all the reasons to have avoided this came flooding back.

“I’m sorry, Teds.” James said his voice no more than a whisper but breaking into Teddy’s thoughts all the same.  “I shouldn’t have let that get so heated – again.”  He let out a laugh without humour.  “I know that you aren’t yourself right now and that I shouldn’t even being kissing you let alone….it’s just I’ve wanted, for so long…well, you know.  I’m sorry.”

Understanding washed over Teddy and he laughed in spite of himself.  Jamie was protecting _him,_ hurting himself to do it, in fact.  For days he had been holding Teddy at arm’s length because he was afraid that this wasn’t what Teddy actually wanted.  “Jamie.  If you want to wait, if you don’t feel ready or comfortable then that is more than okay.”  Teddy said, scooting forward until his knees pressed against James’s side, the younger man looked up, his inner turmoil plain on his face.  “But if you’re worried that I don’t want you?  That I don’t actually love you?  That I’m only doing this because I’m sad?  Well, then, I’m sorry but you’re totally off your fucking rocker.”  James let out a huff of laughter, his face lighting up with the presence of a smile.  “I have been a complete wanker and a coward.” Teddy said suddenly serious, his hand coming up to cup James’s face.  “I am so in love with you, though and I’m sorry to tell you but I’m not going to change my mind about that.  And I’m going to do my very best to never hurt you again, Jamie.”

Jamie looked up, those beautiful brown eyes staring into Teddy, warmth and love and something slightly mischievous radiating through.  “Thank Dumbledore!”  James shouted as he tackled his friend to the couch and started kissing him breathless.  As the kisses become more insistent and intense, Teddy briefly thought that he should be nervous but couldn’t find it in himself while wrapped in James’s comforting embrace.

 

Morning came too soon and with it the knowledge that James would be returning to school that day.  He glanced over and smiled at his best mate’s – er, boyfriend’s - bare, freckled back, ghosting a kiss over his shoulder as not to wake him.  He sat up and stretched, feeling his body smart in all those familiar, delicious ways it did after sex, and in one completely new way which was no less welcome.  He tossed the blanket to the side and after finding sweatpants and a shirt, padded down the hallway towards the kitchen. 

He stopped at the small table behind the couch and lifted the very familiar photograph to his face.  It was one of his Gran.  He was in it too, of course, but just a boy of four dancing around her skirt as she laughed one of her beautiful belly laughs that was reserved solely for him.  His heart ached to hug her again but he couldn’t help but smile while looking on her lovely face.   It was strange, to feel so happy and complete while feeling so devastatingly sad.  He wished that he could talk to his Gran, tell her that he finally understood how she could feel so happy to be with Teddy – to raise him and laugh with him while desperately missing her daughter and husband.  Once you pass a certain age, life must just be this mix of happy and sad, of beauty and pain. 

He placed the picture down and moved into the kitchen to ready a pot of coffee.  It was only a few moments before James arrived, making Teddy aware that he was most likely watching him and giving him some space.  Teddy threw a smile at him over his shoulder before returning to his task.  “Morning,” he said. 

“Good morning.”  James replied, wrapping himself around Teddy and placing an open mouthed kiss to the back of his neck that sent memories of the previous night flooding into Teddy’s mind and making him blush.  James pulled away, the look on his face made it clear that he had noticed but, to his credit, he didn’t say a word about it.  “So what’s this?  Where is my full English breakfast?”

“You caught me.  It was all just a cunning plan to get you into bed.  Years of quietly seducing you with my perfect eggs.  You fell right into my trap, Potter.”

James laughed warmly.  “Teddy Lupin, playing the long game.”

Teddy chuckled.  “No, your mum wants us over for brunch in…” Teddy glanced at the wall clock, “twenty minutes.  I think feeding us is just a clever way to ensure we’re there in time for them to ship you back to school.”

James groaned, allowing his head to drop onto Teddy’s shoulder.  “I really think I should stay with you for a few more days.”

“No way!”  Teddy announced.  “I will not be the reason Head Boy, Quidditch captain extraordinaire falls behind on his studies.  Besides, it’ll only be a few more months and then we’ll have…you know, forever.”

“Cheesy git.” James chuckled into his neck before lifting his head.  “Well if we’re going to see the family we’d better get these love bites sorted.”  He said, flashing a mischievous smile as he aimed his wand at Teddy’s neck and murmured the necessary spell.   

“You could’ve left them.”  Teddy said, honestly when James had finished.

James’s eyebrows lifted to his hair line.  “And give Albus reason to take the piss for the rest of our lives?”  He asked incredulously.

“Okay, well maybe not leave them, you’re right.  I just mean that I don’t want this to be some dirty, little secret.  I want everyone to know.”

If Teddy could’ve frozen James’s smile in that moment and carried it around in his pocket, he would have done it because there was no way to be unhappy when looking at that smile.  “Then they will know.”  James said, kissing the tip of Teddy’s nose.  “Now come on, I worked up quite an appetite last night, I’m properly starving.”

“You go on, I’ll meet you there in a few.”  Teddy said, placing a hard kiss on the brunette’s lips before watching as James sent him a wink and disappeared in a cloud of smoke. 

Teddy chuckled to himself as he thought about all the insanity of the previous days.   He thought about life, about the beauty and the pain, about the beauty IN the pain.  He thought about his Gran and her ability to find happiness in spite of tragedy.  He thought about all of his perfectly laid plans in life, and how a loss or heartbreak can throw you so completely off course. 

Sometimes you’re lucky and those meticulous plans lead you effortlessly to your desired destination.

And sometimes you end up exactly where you are supposed to be, entirely by accident. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I seriously can't believe so many people were willing to read these very rough first drafts. Thank you so much! It was wonderful to be able to write again and I'm going to take this momentum into my other works. I quite like where this story ended up, though and I think that editing this (and flushing out James a bit more) will serve as great incentive to write like the wind. Since the edits are coming, I'd really appreciate any and all feedback.


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